I think I left the most Northern part of my body in one of the most Northern parts on the country.
Back in March, I uprooted my family and moved us all to North Carolina all the way from Connecticut. It started out AYYYY-MAAAAYYY-ZING. But, now we are struggling, and I think I left my brain up North. I don’t know where my mind’s at these days, but it’s most definitely not up there in my skull where it’s supposed to be. I stopped working back in August to concentrate on my physical and most of all my mental health, and all the spare time on my hands has definitely made an impact. My mind thinks in circles, just like how it tells me to talk in circles (and write in circles.) And, it has thought of almost every aspect of this life thus far. It has been painful, but necessary. I never truly took the time to process any of the trauma or pain I had experienced, and instead I ran, ran, ran, and stayed as busy as I possibly could. I never took time to just sit with self. Well, I am making up for that lost time now, I guess. I kind of feel like a Coke bottle with one too many Mentos stuffed into it. Oh, give that bottle a real good shake, EXPLOSION. That’s me in a nutshell. So, no wonder I haven’t stuck with my ‘One Positive Affirmation a Day’ goal that I set a few weeks back. I wish I had, but I think God set this all up for me. God’s definitely got a plan for me, and I think he’s really been trying to open that all up for me, and I kept ignoring his signs. So, now he has slapped me across the face, and it’s working.Actually, I don’t think God would ever actually slap one of his children across the face, but it took a lot of his signs and signals before I opened my eyes. I have been trying to do a lot of work on my inner self as of late, but with everything that has been going on lately, I again, put my feelings on the back burner. And, to top it off, I am almost positive that I was also gifted with an Ulcer…. hmmm. I don’t think that was in God’s plan, I think that is probably due to my excessive stressing and worrying that I put myself through.
Well, my baby boy just woke up, its almost 7am. Guess I probably should’ve slept a bit last night…. But, disassociation from time is another issue for me, and wow, that’s definitely been a problem lately.